niiiiiiiiiigggggeretttteeeee

www.usemyskintokeepsecretsin.blogspot.com


do it
doooo it
dooooo iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

No okay yes?

www.usemyskintokeepsecretsin.blogspot.com

I changed my email address, you see.

Around 130 coffees later...

Fuck I love C1 :3

Today must've been the best day ever.

I thought I had zip friends but it turns out I actually have quite a bunch of friends and they're all awesome. Which is nice.
The sun even visited me today briefly, accompanied by the patches of blue sky. It's a pity there was such a frost freezing my toes off because otherwise I would have really enjoyed that small whiff of warmer times.

I don't know why but I'm in a really good mood.

At the moment I'm reading I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith - I've read it a billion times before but after the first time snatches of it got stuck in my head and I'd constantly be thinking that makes a lot of sense, but what's that from? I also remember being confused as to what year it was set in for most of the book and then finding out it was written in the twenties.

It's a good read if you enjoyed The Life of Pi (says the book shop lady).

Buying things isn't making me feel any better.

Not that I have buyers remorse or anything (by the way Alex, this is killing my finances). I really love Cosmic Corner because when I bought the wee binoculars I had the girl put them behind the counter for me the day before and she gave them to me in a little brown envelope that said "for Tiffiny's wife Michelle" and it had a little sticker with a heart on it. Also the guy with the moustache gave me a discount for marrying the mannequin when I got the little war medal. It would be so cool to work at Cosmic Corner - so many strange people must come through every day.

Things I have loved I am allowed to keep.

Then again, always room for more on my sunny side of the street :3

My feet look huge in the picture of the converses but still - navy blue :D:D:D:D

You know what?

Just fuck you.

I love shoes.

They're pretty.
I got shiny black ones and pretty brown ones.

Last night I had a crazy dream that I pulled my face to pieces, snapping my skull into little bits and throwing them over my shoulders. Then, once my head was gone, I reached through the gaping hole that was my neck and pulled out my skeleton and then I woke up.

I wish I could say

Keeping my hands busy.

I hadn't cleaned my room since Halloween - my floordrobe has been converted to a neat drawer system.

I've included a before and after, they're just somewhat muddled. Here's a hint - the messy one is before ;]

Charles - Diana - 1981

photo credit: these girls <3

Sooo last night I couldn't sleep. I took a standard table knife and started hacking up my old black jeans, I have removed Pikachu and the tacky blue lightning bolt I put there when I was in year nine. It's been so long since I got these jeans and they still don't fit... seriously? Fuck my life. I think I'll go kill myself now.



Nahh but really... breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Fingers crossed.

And my toes.

Let me tell you a story.

photo credit - www.sprego.com

It began in black and white, and it really was that simple.

A greyscale girl woke up in a greyscale world. She never believed in fairies and she never believed in colour, she never saw either so she never had any reason to.

Nothing happened for a very long time.

She grew up. She was a stay at home mother, her husband didn't love her and her kids were ungrateful. It's not like she wasn't beautiful or clever. They just never loved her and she never loved them.

Then one day she sat up straight in bed, very early in the morning. Her husband snored gently next to her - oblivious.

She saw the world in colour and it was beautiful, and she was happy.

And then she died.

It's not meant to make sense.

ooooo*

I just think they are really pretty.

Another little thing you don't care about;

But still, I wanted to put it down. This is pretty much everything I want for my birthday.

My mother is getting me the navy blue shoes and the reading glasses, and I'll probably just end up buying myself more incense and the lace up ankle boots from The Warehouse. I don't really spend my money on anything else - what little money I have.

Deliberate.

Safety is a nice comfy bean bag in the sunny window where, despite the frost, you're warm and happy. Safety feels like that.
I'm safe.

I have to hand it to my mother - she really is the hypocrite of the century. I can remember countless times when she's come through the door and I've asked straight away "what's for dinner?" which results in a snappish "I've just come through the door!". But when I've just come through the door it's "you're just in time to dry the dishes!" which I did because I always do, and I didn't complain.

Then, when I was finished, I did some sewing - I took in a dress I've been putting off fixing for weeks, and a skirt that's followed me from Mother's house to Father's house to Mother's house without ever being stitched up. The sad truth is I probably will never wear the dress, it's so ugly. The fabric is just nice.

Oh, and one of my pictures is on randomgotbeautiful which made me smile - old news, but I thought it deserved a mention.

If one of us is leaving;

It's going to be you.


The feather I wear in my hair got all crumpled today :( but at least the sun was shining. I freeze to death if it doesn't and then I'm just all frozen and dead.

Problems with humanity.

One of the problems that really irritates me is that we stop seeing each other as human so often.

When somebody who really hates you is generally being unpleasant and consciously trying to make you unhappy - it's because they have stopped seeing you as another human and started seeing you as a sub-human sort of super bitch. But the thing is, because they don't see you as a living, breathing human being with feelings, they don't expect their efforts to work.

If they see that they have actually made you unhappy and you show them that you are just as human as they are they will be in shock - a sort of "oh, crap, that person is really unhappy and it's all my fault" reaction.

No person is actually entirely unpleasant because even though they may show you their bad side, somebody somewhere will see the good in them and know that they are just human, nothing more.

I don't want to sound hypocritical because I have had my fair share of treating somebody like they are not human but this is just the way I see it.

We are all human.

Music.

I know nobody cares, but I wanted to put it all into a list. After all - we all love music and we all love lists. Not that my list is in any order, aside from the number one which is and always will be Regina Spektor.

Other than that they are all as equal as a very equal thing.

Thinking in circles.

I am thinking in circles.

Now my thoughts are tessellating.

One of my thoughts, a pesky truncated icosidodecahedron, tells me something is wrong.

But my dodecahedron thought tells me everything is okay.




Iso-butyl-propanoic-phenolic acid makes my soul good.

Mislead

My tongue should be cut out,

It is as black as the blasphemy that I speak of.

My lips that form the deceit,

Are as blue as the skin under your eyes.

Let's all wear sunglasses inside?

I think we need to take a moment to truly appreciate the little pink pill also known as Ibuprofen. It's the friend you turn to when Panadol no longer has an effect on you, but pain still does.
So thank you, my pink friend. You're a life saver.

hoto credit - emer

I had a big rant to Sam and Bex today about human behaviour. I really do think about it too much. But Bex said it was interesting, I find it frustrating. Not that I'll ever actually understand humans. eo;rtyg76gb78g45nvy65r876gn4o FRUSTRATION KEYBOARD

Pretty much my rant was about how humans think they are so seperate from animals because we have thumbs and can talk, but if humans are all so intelligent http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a79/UnaLovesU2/chavs2.jpg why do we do stupid things?? Off topic.
My rant was about how we behave like animals. How the monkey in our head sometimes takes over.

It sounds really stupid now that I think about it but I swear it made sense.

downdowndown

The snow today was nice, even if there was only a little tiny bit. It flurried. I wish McFlurries were still alive.

I really like this...

photo credit - chloe - randomgotbeautiful.com

Cities by John Dohoney

You can learn everything about a city by watching its people

The speed they move tells you the cities attitude
fast, they run from life
slow, they observe it
the way they greet you
if they greet you
tells you what they think about man kind
friendly, they have hope
intreverted, their hope is lost
Their Height
tall, there's plenty of good food
with diners on each block
small, too many coffee shops

If the city has bridges
its people want to travel
If it has walls
its people want to stay
If the city has art
its people can find beauty in their city
If the city has sky scrappers
its people want to find beauty from their watch towers

The more people a city has
The more opportunity the city has

The more people a city has
The more ideas the city has

The more people a city has
The more history the city has

The more people a city has
The more war the city has

The more war a city has
The less people the city sees

Don't let the People destroy your City
because the City will destroy your People

The more people a city has
The more love the city has

The more love a city has
The more people the city has

The People produce their Cities
The People make their Cities
The People love their Cities
and the Cities produce their people
and the Cities make their people
and the Cities love their people

I want to know.

What inspires you?
http://www.randomgotbeautiful.com/

Oh yup, I'm crazy.

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Very High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

AHAHAHAHAAHAHHA GUESS WHAT

WHEN MY CAT TRIES TO CLEAN HERSELF HER NECK FUR GETS STUCK ON HER TONGUE BECAUSE THERE IS SO MUCH OF IT AND SHE HAS TO SIT THERE TRYING TO GET IT OFF BY SHAKING HER HEAD AND IT'S SO FUNNY.
Not that you care or anything, but it is really amusing to watch.

I have this idea that you should all just kind of think about what you and other people are good at instead of thinking about what other people are bad at.
For instance I'm quite good at scabbing money off people to buy coffee with. I'm also good at vacuuming and cooking.
Robyn is good at being beautiful and writing beautiful poetry. My neighbours are good at drinking copious amounts of Tui. Sam is good at art and shoppin'. The list goes on. aaaaand on...

And then the world will be a sunshiney happy place with everybody smiling and laughing and getting along.

I would like to take a moment...

...to jump up and down excitedly.
Thirty daysssssssssss. It's all good.

I know everybody these days skips breakfast but it's the most important meal of the day so you're all stupid. It's just that cereal is gross. First thing in the morning I bet you all crave a bowl of soggy, cold, sweet mush. Except if you're SamSam and are addicted to Nutri-Grain or Macey and you love Cheerios (not the sausage kind). I don't know, maybe you like cereal. Point is I don't and this is my blog. I also don't like jam.

Let's go to crazy places.

Of course you have done something just because it felt right at the time. Think back to when you were a child and you didn't care if you got your clothes muddy or if you got glue in your hair or if you got soaking wet. You just did it. Sometimes being muddy or soaking wet was the preferable outcome.

If you are afraid to waltz in a CD store then you are missing out.

Crazy towns.

I can't, for the life of me, remember who said this (it may have been SamSam but I really don't know) but somebody mentioned to me how the people in shows like Home and Away live really crazy lives - no one person has that much going on in their life, let alone a community with death and tragedy and scandal every day. Oh, and it takes more than four episodes to get over somebodies death.

Shows like that seem to be like some persons intricate doll game, they set themselves up a town with people and personalities and if it starts to get dull just kill off that person, make that one gay, give that one a drug problem...

Don't get me wrong, I'm as brain-dead as the next person as I sit down and lap up the ridiculous story presented to me near daily. But it deserves a little thought when you're getting four hundred and twenty minutes of watching a society where one wall gets built back up and another falls straight down per week.

Oh my long johns I am thinking about television. God help me.

I can see clearly now...

No, I really can't. I need me some glasses! But I don't want me some ugly glasses! I found these amazing glasses at Dog's Breakfast which I'm in love with.

But that is not the point.

What's his face from thingy who talked to us about stuff had a really good point about something. When he said that if you asked a five year old what they want to be they'll say straight away "ballerina" or "astronaut" or (if you're me) "old lady" (don't ask) but if you ask somebody my age they'll go "...dunno" which is... not such a satisfactory answer.
I mean, come on, even I know what I want to be. I'm not going to tell you but there is something.

I told my mum what I wanted to be and she only said "well, it's a very competitive business..." and told me to get a back up option. MUM THAT WAS MY BACK UP, AFTER THE LAST DREAM YOU CRUSHED.


I thought the parents job was to encourage. Guess not.

Thirty two days, five hours and twenty nine minutes remaining.

Not quite exact seeing as I was born at around eight in the morning... but you get the gist. For my birthday I am asking my parents for two things:

1. A pair of glasses from Dog's Breakfast ($49.90)
2. A tattoo of a bird in a tree on my wrist (yeah, it's going to happen by the wayyy my dad said yes).
   

P.S.
I'm sorry for Wednesday, I didn't actually kick you.
I was walking past you and my amazingly heavy bag (you have no idea how heavy that thing is) swung out and hit you lightly. Please don't overreact.
I have to ask though; why on earth do you hate me?? If you think I snob you in class then why is it I always saved a seat for you and talked to you and bought you food and gave you things and went places with you?? Doesn't sound like snobbing to me...
I'm still waiting for you to tell me exactly how I'm acting like a troll girl, and why I don't deserve any of the good things in my life.
I'm still waiting for you to tell me why you say such hurtful things about me.

If I had to have a child...

...I would have a cute asian child.

If you take away the fact that I hate children.

So break me to small parts, let go in small doses.

I have a blister on my little toe and I must say it hurts like a hurting thing.

I had to write an apology letter to Sue and Karen for disappearing from sport... freaking sweet. Luckily fake apologies are easy peasy simple pimple:

Dear Sue and Karen,

I am very sorry for disappearing from sport yesterday, we were tired so we sat down on the grass and lost track of time. We will make sure not to let this happen again.

I understand this piles unnecessary extra work and worry and for that I apologize.

Yours,

Michelle.

LOAD OF BULL.

Guess what :O

Alex is a silly and I love him.

Wedding plans!

Robyn and I plan to get married, in beautiful dresses.
And a beautiful reindeer-cake.

It's going to be epic.

Brilliant.

Today was ei485g3bit6 :D
Because I saw my Bobyn and we went to Cosmic Corner and met up with our wife and it was awesome. We got coffee. We talked about life.
Then we missioned to Slack 'n' Slave for chocolate but got a bit lost on the way back because I thought it would be a nice idea to go to the train tracks and take pictures.

It could have been a bit warmer.
I could have not slopped soup on my dress.

But who cares! Robyn is lovely.



:3

Super lawlz

You'll do what you'll do and I'll do what I'll do.
It doesn't bother me.

It's just a little bit cold.

I washed my hair this morning, but I only dried my fringe (to avoid the crazy Elvis 'do, honestly my fringe is impossible) so the rest of it is just this mass of curly cold wet hair sitting on my shoulders.

But it's okay because at one I get to see my darling Robyn.











This makes everything okay.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

It takes a bunch of words to describe me, but I'm lazy so here's a picture instead.

The coffee cup, the hair pulled back because I'm too lazy to actually do anything with it, the pretty skirt my favourite LA ever gave me, linking arms with my new best friend.

Sun is really a thing I need more of.

Too many thoughts.

Starting at the top.

Yesterday my mother and I went out to the malls (a bunch of them) and we bought lots and lots of things. The idea was to find a pretty dress, something nice to wear that night. We went away with a lot more.

When I got home I cut up my dress and sewed it to fit me better and generally look nicer (it's from Farmers, but I swear you wouldn't recognise it) and then I put it on, did my hair and makeup, I put on my really expensive Italian tights and brand spanking new black shiny high heels.
We went out to this place called "Floorspace" and sat in the corner because the music was a bit too loud and thanks to the wine the people were a bit too loud also.

I sat in the corner, my pretty dress tucked away inside my coat.
Then we left.

We went to Indie Kingdom and I took pictures, lots and lots of night time pictures.

And then it happened.

A gaggle would be the right word.
I saw a gaggle of girls my age, all high heels and pretty dresses - hair done up, makeup done up. They were walking down the street, heels going click click click click, and they were laughing and talking quite loudly.
I said to my mother that I sort of wished I had a life, that I went out at night and saw people and went places and got dressed up and was just normal.

Not that I'm unhappy with my total lack of social life.
At this age I've noticed that silly people get confused with having a social life and getting wasted. But either way I don't go out at night, I sit at home watching cheesy movies (hello, Alot Like Love!) and writing blogs.

Enter Michelle.

What is the first thing you see?
Do you notice my hair first? Just because there is alot of it?
Or do you notice what I'm wearing?

Do you notice if I'm talking, or if I'm quiet?
If I'm talking do you think I'm a classic loud-mouthed idiot?
If I'm silent do you think I'm rude, shy, upset or just thinking?

If I make a mistake do you immediately judge me on that? Or do you wait to see if I fix it?

If you are told I have done something wrong, do you trust the person who told you (and the person who told them, and the person who told them, and the person who told them...) or do you wait to find out what really happened?

If I ask a question do you answer me?

When you realize everything has gone wrong do you blame me?

When I need you do you help me out, or feed me to the sharks?

When I'm gone will you miss me? Will you wonder why you pushed me away?


Does any of this run through your head when you first meet me?